I was talking about this yesterday evening, and it was suggested to me by Fr. Matthew Habiger O.S.B. that I should be on Catholic Radio.  Ha-ha.  Hear that Catholic radio stations?  Time to pick me up!  Since my only media outlet is my blog, here is where it will go.

We were talking about NFP and building strong marriages and families.  My concern is that I hear quite often how important it is to replace the use of contraception with Natural Family Planning, but rarely do we hear about the beauty and grace of the large family.

So what about that child that you just cannot believe that you are able to have right now?  Believe me I have been there.  First, marriage is elevated by Christ to a Sacrament, so it is a conduit of grace.  When we said “I do”, we received all the grace we would ever need to do whatever God asks of us in our marriage.  It is not always easy to rest upon that grace, but it is not easy to live in any state of life.  Just because a thing is hard does not mean that it is not worth doing.  So we step out in faith, believing that God will give us the strength we need to do what he asks. 2 Corinthians 12: “And he said to me: My grace is sufficient for thee; for power is made perfect in infirmity. Gladly therefore will I glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may dwell in me.”  We step out in faith and remain totally open to one another in our marriage right, accepting the child that may result with a grateful heart.  A scared heart, but a grateful one nonetheless.

Second, the child itself grows grace in us as individuals, as a couple and as a family.  That new person will bring with him a new set of joys and sorrows which we would never have experienced without him.  Another baby helps us to be more selfless, more generous, more thoughtful.  Another baby is another manifestation of our couple love for one another, which becomes a person as we really, really become “one flesh”.  Other children in the family learn to share a bit more, to help each other, to deal with personalities.  I tell our children often that if they can learn to get along with each other, they will have no problem getting along with anyone else in the world.  A child brings us together as a couple and as a family as we share the burden of caring for him.

Sometimes couples think that the priest doesn’t know what he is talking about when he tells us not to use birth control.  He isn’t married, he has no idea what it is like.  Have we forgotten that most vocations come out of large families?  Chances are strong that he grew up with a slew of brothers and sisters getting into his stuff, reading his letters, stealing the last piece of cake.  He knows all about taking care of a smaller sibling, or being taken care of.  For the very best reading on this subject read Pope Pius XII “The Large Family”.

We believe that NO children are accidents.  God who is all powerful, all knowing, all good, and all present CHOSE through His Divine Will to bring that child into being.  Do you not think that He knows better what is good for you and will help you get to heaven?  Your Heavenly Father wants the best for you.  He wants to help grown grace in you.  He gives you all good things, but not necessarily all easy things.  Luke 12:12 “And which of you, if he ask his father bread, will he give him a stone? or a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent”

The best thing that we can give our children is a brother or sister.  Shoes from Target and Payless cover the feet just as well as shoes from department stores, and they will never help your child be a better person.  So toss out the birth control AND the NFP, maybe have a glass of wine (or two if it helps work up your nerve), tell your honey that you love them, make love and see if God chooses this time to send another child (or not).

Psalm 126: “Unless the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it. Unless the Lord keep the city, he watcheth in vain that keepeth it. 2 It is vain for you to rise before light, rise ye after you have sitten, you that eat the bread of sorrow. When he shall give sleep to his beloved, 3 Behold the inheritance of the Lord are children: the reward, the fruit of the womb. 4 As arrows in the hand of the mighty, so the children of them that have been shaken. 5 Blessed is the man that hath filled the desire with them; he shall not be confounded when he shall speak to his enemies in the gate.”